14 and addicted

by mckailaaguiar

I am now seventeen years old and have gone through a 15 month program, twice. I entered the program when I was 14 years old, only a freshman in high school. I was battling many petty addictions such as marijuana, alchohol and sex, depression, anger issues, and also refusing to deal with the death of my father.

At first the program was working, at least it seemed that way. I wanted to do good, but lacked motivation. So I graduated from the program and fell on my face. I didn't want help, I wanted to be miserable. By force, I re-entered the program a few months later. The second time around things got really tough. I ended up having to be baker acted twice and then finishing up another few months of the program where I was living.

I graduated the program a second time and again, I relapsed. It was then that I realized that this is going to be it for me and I'm still so young with a full life right in front of me. A life I will never experience unless I am willing to fight myself for it.

I made the decision to fight and here I am half a year later still fighting for what can be mine. I would like whoever is reading this to know that it's ok to mess up, to fall flat on your face because its a process, nothing happens over night, and learn from "last time." Don't repeat history, write a new chapter instead.

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