15 Years Old And On Drugs
I have had issues with drugs my entire teenage life and it's the reason for a lot of my issues today. Drugs somehow alter you and change a person forever.
When I was 15 years old I used a drug (I won't mention the name) that would be considered one of the worst drugs, if not the worst, to ever use. I was sort of tricked into using it by my cousin and her boyfriend, but I don't blame them. I had only really ever smoked pot before that and they let me believe that it was the same thing but better. It was NOT the same.
It was terrible and I found myself selling all of my belongings or trading them for the drug. I never thought I would become that person, but I did. I went through this experience completely alone. I was suffering and I couldn't reach out for help because most of the people in my family were stuck on the same drug. The only person I could turn to was my mother, but I was way too terrified to tell her I had a drug problem.
However, my mother wasn't a fool. She had seen my aunt go through the same thing time and time again and she noticed all of the signs that I was using. Still, I denied it and when someone is in denial about drugs, no one can help them. After my 16th birthday we moved to another state and I told myself that I was going to quit.
I decided that I would take it as on opportunity to start over and leave my habit behind me. I knew it would be hard and trust me it was one of the hardest things, if not the hardest, I have ever done in my life. The withdrawal from a serious drug like the one I was abusing is no joke.
I literally had
dreams about it for months. It took a long time for me to completely lose that feeling of needing the drug, but when i did I was free. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. Sometimes I think about how strong I was at 15 years old to totally and outright quit a drug that most adult addicts use and abuse for years without ever being able to stop.
I guess I can say I am proud of myself that even at that age, being so young, I knew I had to do something for myself. I knew that I was out of control and that this was not the life I wanted for myself.
I want to be a drug rehab counselor someday. Not only could I sympathize with an addict, but I can empathize because I've been through it myself. The good thing about it is that I won't accept any excuses from a patient because believe me I know how hard and painful it can be to kick a drug habit. But if I could do it for myself at 15 years old when I didn't have any other motivation, like kids or a job, then anyone can do it.
I know that it is possible to quit and I know that it is possible to stay clean, I am living proof right here at 20 years old. I hate that I had to go through what I went through, but at least I can live as an example for others. At least they can look at me and realize they can do it too.
God has put it in my heart to help people who really need it and want it and for that I can be grateful. My experiences haven't been the easiest, but they serve me a good purpose to remind me where I could have ended up and where I am now.