At the time this page was written, my addiction drug rehab treatment had led to my being sober for about 10 months, which is the longest clean time I had ever had. But I am proud to say that now, I have stayed sober for over 3 years! Over time, I have gotten a lot of comments about how I seem really ‘different’ this time – after my relapse - so I thought I would write about some of those differences and how each of them applies to keeping me sober to this day.
(1) When I first got clean, I refused to admit myself to an inpatient addiction drug rehab treatment facility. I was scared and really just unwilling to do what I needed to do to stay clean.
I also didn’t fully believe that I needed to be there. I knew that when I drank and used drugs, things in my life kind of sucked. Sure, I said I was an alcoholic and an addict, but deep down, I don’t think I really believed that. I don’t think that I was really finished using drugs and drinking, and ultimately that played a huge part in my relapse.
There are several other things that I didn’t include in my initial addiction drug rehab treatment.
(2) In the 9 or 10 months that I was clean the first time around, I didn’t share my story at a single meeting.
(3) I didn’t chair any meetings.
(4) I didn’t do service whatsoever. I didn’t even make coffee for meetings.
(5) I didn’t have a sponsor that I was actually in touch with, and I certainly wasn’t working any of the steps.
(6) I refused to pray, or to even try to pray, to a higher power.
There are still aspects of AA that I struggle with today, but I try my hardest to do everything in my control to get the addiction drug rehab treatment help I need so I can stay clean and be happy.
- In the past couple of months, I have shared my story at numerous meetings.
- I have been chairing meetings, and I make an effort to give back in any way I can.
- I have a sponsor who I am working the steps with. I don’t call her as often as I should, that’s just a fact…but I have made a tremendous effort to utilize her as much as I can. I do call her and see her fairly regularly, and we have started working the steps.
- I share at meetings, stay the entire time, and actually try to get something out of every meeting. I try not to get up during the meeting or leave before the meeting is over unless absolutely necessary.
- I often forget to pray, but I try to pray as often as possible. If it’s not in the morning or at night, I often pray throughout the day when I am facing something that I feel I am struggling with. I am very open to the idea that there is a higher power, and I try to stay in constant contact with whatever my higher power may be. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I know it’s not me and I know that there is something out there that is greater than myself. That belief is definitely a part of my Addiction Drug Rehab Treatment Plan.
These things might sound trivial, but if I am not doing all of these things, or at least trying to do all of these things, then the bottom line is that I have a pretty weak alcoholism drug treatment program and I am not on solid spiritual ground.
The biggest difference in my life today is that I am willing to do whatever elements of addiction drug rehab treatment it takes to stay clean.
- I was willing to stay in rehab, and to go to a halfway house.
- I was willing to do intensive outpatient therapy for as long as my insurance covered.
I really, truly believe wholeheartedly that I am an addict and an alcoholic, and I cannot pick up a drink or a drug ever again in my life. If I want to be clean AND happy, then I need to implement all of these aspects of the alcoholism drug treatment program into my everyday life.
It’s not even just about happiness anymore – it’s about not killing myself with drugs and alcohol. When I relapsed the last time, I was very close to doing just that. It’s life or death for me and for most addicts and alcoholics, and it’s important that I remember that every single day.
That’s not to say that I don’t struggle or I don’t have cravings anymore – I absolutely do. For a while, I hadn’t had any cravings and life was pretty great. My life is still great, and I truly have so much to be grateful for, but that doesn't mean that I don't still have cravings.
The difference this time is that picking up a drink or a drug is just not an option. Sure, sometimes I think about it. Sometimes I wish I could get high. But under no circumstances will it ever be an option. The second I allow it to be an option, I am setting myself up for failure, and there’s no guarantee that I will get another chance.