I was clean from cocaine for 4 months and then I relapsed – what now?
Relapsing after any time of sobriety/recovery is extremely difficult. I can relate to how you must be feeling, because I relapsed after I was clean for 10 months.
The most important thing you can do is to seek treatment as soon as possible. What level of treatment you need should be determined by you, your family/friends, and professionals who can evaluate you. Sometimes when people relapse, it’s quick and they can simply stop and begin attending 12 step meetings again and stay sober.
For me, I needed to be put in rehab to stop the cycle of addiction and get me back on track. My relapse was fairly severe, and I was unable to remember how much my sobriety meant to me. I was completely taken over by my disease, and until I was put in rehab and able to detox for a couple days, I didn’t think I even wanted to be sober.
Once I got there and cleaned up a little, I realized how much I needed to be there and how much I wanted to be there.
Treatment, whether it’s inpatient, outpatient, or going to meetings, can be scary. I was scared and I felt very alone when I was in rehab. But the truth is, I was more scared and more alone while I was actively using.
Relapses aren’t fun, and they certainly aren’t something that I would wish upon anyone. However, a relapse can serve a purpose if you let it. It can teach you a lot about yourself, your triggers, and your disease. If you look at what was going on around the time you relapsed and can try to figure out what went wrong, you can be aware of this in the future and hopefully prevent it.
After a relapse, I urge you to get back to 12 step meetings (or get to 12 step meetings, if you weren’t going to them before), and try to speak to a professional at an inpatient or outpatient center who can try to point you in the right direction.