I am just starting treatment this week and i am scared to death that I will fail. Alcohol has been a major part of my life for many decades but finally look over my body when I couldn't talk without shaking and couldn't write. I called for help and they put me right into detox for 5 days. I stayed sober for 9 days but then started again until my skill at hiding my habit, or so I thought was brought out into the open.
I don't know how to be sober and I don't know what to do when sober. I am a lost soul, I am not religous and will have trouble putting my trust in something I don't believe in. Is there anyone out there that has the same feelings that have found a way to believe in yourself and not put trust in something i don't believe in?
The way you're feeling is really normal. When I first went to treatment and started going to meetings, I didn't think I could get past the "religious" aspects of it. Honestly though, I don't think it really matters. It's not about religion and it's not about god - it's about finding something that works for you.. Something that helps you stay sober and have a life you deserve and can enjoy.
For some people, that's god. For others, the motivation is their family or their health or just anything important In your life.
The less I focused on having a higher power and finding something to believe in, the less pressure I felt and the easier it was for me to stay sober and figure out what worked for me.
For me, meetings are what kept me sober for the first 18 months. It was a good way to meet people going through something similar. More recently, meetings haven't been a huge part of my recovery. I go to therapy and I work out and I read or write or whatever else I enjoy doing and that is productive and helpful for me.
Just find something that works for you and try not to focus so much on what you're "supposed" to do or believe in. Some people do end up finding a higher power and believing in something, so it's always good to stay open minded.
Good luck with everything!