Life on heroin!!!

by Scott
(Utah, USA)

My addiction started when I was in high school. It was a warm spring day at school, me and my girlfriend and some friends left school for lunch that day. I didnt know that day would change the rest of my life. It started out as a normal day; we got in my car and went to my friends house. We ate and right before heading back to school one of the friends I was with had some cocaine and asked if I wanted to try some. I had never even seen cocaine, I of course said "ya ill take a little bump."

I hit the line and we went back to school. That night I went home and told my sister, and asked if she had ever tried it. She told me no but has always wanted to and asked if i could get it. I called my girlfriend and told her i need some and asked if she would get it for me, she did. After that day I was using everyday just smoking and snorting it. A few weeks later I was trying to score some cocaine and couldn't find any so I called one of my friends that I didn't know was into it and asked if he could find it.

He told me ya man I will come down to your house right now. About 20 minutes passed and he showed up. We went up to my bedroom and he pulled out a handful of balloons that were filled with cocaine. We smoked some for a couple hours and got really high. He then said I have something that will help you come down from the cocaine easier. I asked what it was, he said heroin.

I then told him that I had never tried heroin and told him I didn't want to shoot up. He then told me that it could be smoked so I said sure why not. After that day I then began using heroin and cocaine everyday. A few weeks went by and I figured out that I could not only make money but be able to pay for my addiction by selling the drugs, the only problem was i needed a good hook. I got everything lined up and began picking up grams at a time. I soon graduated from high school and was having a party from me graduating early. My friend came to pick me up that night from house before we left he asked if he could use my bathroom really fast to do a shot. He told me that cocaine through a needle was 10 times better than smoking it so I asked if he had a clean needle.

He ran to his truck and got a fresh rig. He made me up a shot and shot me up for my first time. After it hit me I instantly felt it and was instantly addicted to the needle; it was the greatest feeling I had ever felt. I soon began losing a lot of weight and was wearing long sleeve shirts. I used non-stop for about a year. Then one night me and my sister and my best friend were up in my bedroom getting high. We had been doing coke for about 24 hours. My needle jammed up so I went to my dresser to get a new one. They were gone and I started to cry because I had no way to do my drugs.

I freaked out and lost all control that night. My sister told me to get out of her house and to never come back. I left and was still freaking out. I made a phone call to my mom and told her that me and my sister had been using very heavly for
a while now. My mom then called the cops and I was arrested the next day and taken to a rehab for 90 days. I lasted 30 days and talked my mom into pulling me out. During the time I was in the program I was told my sister was working on getting clean herself but little did i know that was a lie. I left rehab and went back to live with my sister. The night I got home from rehab my mom dropped me off.

After about 2 hours of being home my sister came to me and said hey we need to talk. She then told me that she had not been clean nor had she been working on it and told me she felt bad. I asked if she had any and she said yes. Needless to say I got high that night and everyday after that for another solid year till one night I had another freak out on coke. Once again I called my mom and told her what was going on and told her I wanted out. The very next day I was on a plane to another rehab.

This time i stayed in rehab for 6 months. I left rehab on a visit to come home for a funeral of my best friend who had overdosed while I was gone. I got back into my home state the day of the funeral. I met up with another friend i had been using with before I left. He picked me up from my house and I knew right away he was not clean. He asked me if I wanted to try a little for old time sakes. I wasn't in a good state of mind after losing a very close friend so I said yes. Ya that was a bad idea.

I didn't make it to the funeral that night and I didn't make it back to rehab. I was instantly strung out again. Another year passed of solid using. (sister was clean house was raided by DEA while I was gone). I began selling again. One day I was heading back from picking up and was on the freeway and got pulled over. I was extreamly high on cocaine. I was arrested that day for poss. and taken to jail. I did 30 days in jail then was finally released.

I stayed clean for awhile after that. It has been 3 years give or take and i have had a couple small relapse but nothing major. I am now married to a beautiful girl that has never done drugs. A few weeks ago I ran into an old friend that is still using. I relapsed and have been using for the past few weeks. My wife found out and is helping me through this. I have now made it 3 days clean. I am sharing this story with all of you to get the message out there.

It's not a game nor is it fun. I look back at my life and I realize that i don't want that life style. So if you are an addict just know it's a long hard road but it can be over come. If you continue that life style you will come out of it with nothing or worse you wont come out alive. I hope this story is read by others that have been in my shoes.

Even though I still struggle and I will always struggle because it never goes away EVER... just know there is help out there you just have to want it. I have been on both sides of the fence and I can honestly say sober life is the only way to be... Thanks for your time and i really hope this helps someone.

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