One woman helping another woman
I was the high school cheerleader who became totally degraded by my disease. It started with parties and led to isolation. In the end, I wasn't living on the streets, but in my spirit, I was close to death. I became a far cry from the honor roll student with limitless potential.
I carried a gun and worked closely with gangsters. I slithered through a life filled with drugs, sex, and alleyways. I never thought I would have become a person who followed no moral code, only ways and means to get more. I remember not wanting to be me so badly that I would take off running in the middle of the night, trying to escape myself, or sitting in a bath tub trying to scratch the filthiness from my skin, never feeling clean enough.
Even though I was only 23 years old, I knew in my heart what pain was, what loneliness was, what degradation was. I checked myself into detox for the first time over 2 years ago. Not knowing what was going to happen to me. Feeling as if I had no idea what was in store for me, but knowing it had to be done for my very life was at stake. I had never heard of NA, but I was told I was told that I had to attend meetings if I wanted to have a chance at recovery.
One day a girl came in, all by herself, and told us all the things she had been through. I identified with the loneliness of it all. Selling myself for drugs, seeing the older prostitutes still doing it, and wondering how much longer I would be stuck in my self-made hell. This she shared with me, and more. She shared that we could be there if we continued to use drugs, and I believed her because I had already pretty much been there. She had years clean and, from what I heard, had a beautiful life.
I found hope. I found god. I have found my own beautiful life in NA and have now been clean, as well, for years. I could never thank this woman enough, where ever she is.
For showing me a way out of despair,
Addict named Kristine