I come from a high functioning alcoholic family, with all the material possessions one could want and our disease was never discussed. It was as if we didn't have a disease but I knew in my heart, something was very wrong.
I didn't always drink but when life took some nasty turns I learned like my family it soothed the pain, or so I thought. I was never encouraged not to drink even when it was clearly a problem, and so began the cycle of denial that ran deep in my history. I met a very supportive man 9 years ago. I told him I had a drinking problem and he didn't believe me as I hid it really well.
We moved in together and got married and he soon saw how ill I really was. Over 5 years ago I had a very bad hangover and decided I was tired of always feeling lousy, so I quit cold turkey. I made drastic changes to my lifestyle, friends and basically made my sobriety number 1. I distanced myself from anyone I deemed toxic to my sobriety or not a supporter, unfortunately most of my family fit into that category. My husband was and still is my number one supporter. It was very hard in the beginning, but as time went on and I could think clearly and felt amazing which made each day slightly easier than the one before.
My mother died an alcoholic in denial a few years back and I vow never to let that happen to me. I had to change people, places and things in order to stay sober, for me that worked. I simply refused to put myself in any situation that could jeopardize my sobriety and lost some "friends" along the way, but thats ok I gained some new ones. Frankly, I would have ended my marriage had my husband not been supportive of my sobriety, he is not an alcoholic but he no longer drinks at all.
May sound harsh but it works for me and my life has turned around completely for the better in every aspect. I now have a clear strong mind, future action plan and great supports to deal with life's challenges and I truly take one day at a time.
I am grateful for my life and those in it every day. I no longer hold onto resentment it's destructive and draining and serves no purpose.
If I could offer any advice to anyone struggling to quit, don't ever believe your inner thoughts if they direct you to be destructive to your well being. You have value and you deserve to be happy and healthy, we all do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!