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Rachael Goldstein

Hi Everyone! I'm a public defender and a recovering addict navigating my recovery journey. I created this website to provide information and a place for you to find info and share your struggles & accomplishments. Enjoy!

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My Dad Died Because of Drink

By Sara, from  Nottingham, England

6 months ago my dad died from liver cirrhosis. I was 15. He didn’t make it to my 16th birthday which was in April. He had always had a drink problem since before I was born, but it was never as bad as it had gotten in the last year of his life. He always said that he would get help and that he would ‘sort it’, but he didn’t realize how serious it was, and I don’t think he ever did.

My parents had divorced about 6 years ago so I used to see him at the weekends. I loved spending my weekends with him, he was so funny and knowledgeable. I thought that if I didn’t see him he would stop drinking, but that never happened. I stopped seeing him for about 2 months and that created pain for me everyday.

After seeing my grandma (dad’s mum) I decided I wanted to see him again. When he opened the door, he was completely yellow. We took him to the doctor straight away, who admitted him to the hospital. I was so sure that this would be his wake up call, and I think it would have been if he had survived. He was in hospital for 3 weeks. Until two days before his death, we didn’t even know it was going to kill him. It was so sudden.

As an only child I felt so alone and that no one understood. I was half way through year 11 and had January exams approaching. It was such a big thing for me to have to deal with, and still is. I often forget what has happened and think I can just call him or turn up at his house to see him. This is the worst thing that has ever happened, I really don’t know how I have coped. I just want my daddy back.

I think about the future a lot. If I get married or have children, he won’t be there. What he did was preventable and didn’t need to happen, it has affected his family and friends so much, and it has changed my life forever. For anyone who has a drink problem, you can change. Please don’t leave your loved ones behind. It’s not too late, but it may soon be if you don’t change.

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